The Last Action Father

Brick MacLock — 350 pounds of solid muscle framed by a buzz cut and grim determination. Before him stood Armando Guitierezz, the South American criminal mastermind who'd taken from him the one thing that mattered most, his daughter. The dirtbag was out of men, out of bullets, out of places to run, out of time, and out of Brick's patience. It hadn't been easy tracking him down through his international cartel. In the past 18 hours Brick had blasted his way across Miami, Hong Kong, Quebec and Tora Bora only to wind up in his hometown of Akron, Ohio — the last place he'd think to look. Now, here at the old abandoned asbestos factory, it was finally payback time.

"Please, Mr MacLock!" whined Guitierezz as he dropped to his knees, begging for mercy. "Maybe we can cut a deal!"

"You're garbage, pal. And it's time to take out the trash!"

"Come now, Mr MacLock" whined Guitierezz, forcing a smile. "I can make you a rich man. Surely you didn't destroy all my Jihadist training camps and sex slave rings for some bonus to your paltry policeman's salary?"

"It wasn't for the money, slimeball. This time…it was personal."

With that, Brick raised his assault rifle and opened fire. His nemesis was riddled with bullets all the way to the other side of the room. He didn't let go of the trigger until the clip was empty. The last domino of a criminal empire fell to the ground in a shredded pool of blood. Maybe he should've waited for backup so the bastard could go to trial, but Brick really liked killing bad guys.

"Daddeeee!"

The piercing cry brought Brick out of his rare moment of introspection. His daughter! It had come from the next room, behind a padlocked rotting wooden door. Carelessly discarding his rifle, Brick ran at full force and smashed it from rusty hinges onto the floor. Inside the former janitor's closet was the apple of his eye, Kimmy — tied to a chair, with the gag she'd managed to remove now dangling around her slender neck.

Despite her state of disarray, Kimmy was still the stone cold fox that'd been kidnapped from Brick's bedroom in the dark of the night. Long strands of Blonde hair dangled over her high forehead, Blue eyes, pixie nose and pert lips all the way to her huge D-cupped rack, which now heaved in the excitement of seeing her daddy dearest come to rescue her.

"Oh, daddy!" she cried, tears of joy streaming down her face. "I thought you'd never come!"

"No one gets between me and my princess" grinned Brick, carelessly dropping his gun as he approached her. "Let's get these ropes off you."

"I don't know, daddy" she giggled, feeling safe at last and a little playful. "Maybe we could have a little fun this way, now that we're both okay?"

"Cute" grunted her father as his beefy hands tore off the restraints like scotch tape. "But daddy's had a long day, baby. A long fuckin' day. Let's go home. When we've cleaned up, I'll tuck you into bed proper."

"Goody!!" the 28 year old nymph squealed as she jumped up from her former bondage and threw her arms around the heroic hunk she called dad.

They couldn't reach all the way around him, so she rubbed her lithe athletic frame upon his rock hard abs and stiffening member as much as she could. Her face sank between his gigantic pectorals, then lifted up to plant a wet, sloppy kiss on his chiseled features. His stubble actually cut into her skin and bled a little, but in the moment she barely noticed. Brick could only smile, pat her back, and slip his hand down to her heart-shaped ass for an affectionate squeeze. He idly wondered if the bastards had raped her, and how many times. He sure as hell would've. A thorough check for bruises would be in order later.

Exiting the makeshift cell together, Brick swept Kimmy up into his tree trunk arms, which she happily complied with by tossing hers around his neck — just smaller than his torso enough for her to reach around. Then she noticed the slumped body — what looked like it had once been a body — to their left. Now it was more like a pile of canned pasta, but enough of the face remained for her to recognize it: Armando Guitierezz, that scumbucket who'd kidnapped, taunted and spat on her, had gotten what was coming to him courtesy of her father. This fact set her loins on fire instantly. Noticing his daughter's interest, Brick paused.

"Did YOU do that, daddy?" she whispered breathlessly, eyes and mouth agape.

"Who else, sugar? The tooth fairy?"

"Wooooow" Kimmy moaned, beginning to rub her legs together. "And how many guys did you kill to come get me?"

"Eighty-two." Those required remedial counting lessons at the academy had been worth it after all.

That settled it. Her dad was the baddest motherfucker on the planet, and her pussy gushed like a faucet knowing she'd soon be pinned under him, barely able to breathe as he destroyed her insides with his personal "assault rifle." Maybe he'd make some funny joke, like the ones she'd heard him say while killing those Triad mafia doo-doo heads the last time she'd been kidnapped.

Outside the factory-turned-hideout, the FBI SWAT teams were arriving late as usual. Some media crews and public officials were gathered further behind them, clamoring for a piece of Brick MacLock's latest adventure. Not all were happy about it. Pushing his way through the police barricade with authorization papers in hand was Seymour Libby, district attorney. And though few would guess or believe it, the bespecled pencil-necked geek was also Kimmy MacLock's fiancé.

They'd gone to college together, and in the time since her hotshot father had last saved her life he'd managed to woo her away with high-minded, sensitive rhetoric about the importance of due process, the rule of law and the presumption of innocence before trail. His heart sank when he'd received that phone call an hour earlier informing him that Brick was back in town and on his way to Guitierezz's compound to kick ass, take names and be Kimmy's knight in shining armor once more. If only the state cops had arrived sooner to make arrests in an orderly fashion, he'd have a high profile career-making case on his hands with guaranteed book and movie deal rights afterwards, whether or not Guitierezz received justice. Seymour cleared his throat, straightened his tie, and prepared for some serious damage control with the uber-vixen he'd pined for since freshman year.

He didn't have much time to prepare. Just as the factory front doors came within sight, Brick MacLock's mighty boot smashed them open and carried Kimmy into daylight while silhouetted by roaring flames left over from the carnage behind him. Firemen ran in after to hose down the inferno as Brick strode confidently with daughter in tow as the crowd erupted in applause.

Super, thought Seymour. He caught Kimmy's eye, but she barely seemed interested as he came face to face with her and her father.

"Kimmy MacLock!!" he huffed. "Do you realize how lucky you are to be alive?? Here I was, planning your rescue with a minimal loss of life, and your father comes blazing in like some, some — "

He flustered for words as both MacLocks stared quizzically.

"COWBOY," he continued, "And brought a loaded weapon into a potentially violent situation, thereby increasing the likelihood of firearm use exponentially and endangering you!!"

Brick looked at his daughter.

"You mind tellin' me who this jerkoff is, sweetie pumpkin?"

Kimmy rolled her eyes.

"Just my silly ol' fiancé, daddy"

"Fiancé, huh?"

Brick stared down at Seymour, watching him quake uneasily in his presence while he set Kimmy to the ground. He extended his handshake to the squirrelly little man, who reluctantly accepted and immediately regretted the decision. With minimal exertion of effort, Brick crushed every bond in Seymour's hand like tin foil and gently let it go. Seymour howled. Brick gave his daughter a sideways glance.

"You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me, kiddo."

Kimmy sighed. The crowd's applause was finally dying down to the point she wouldn't need to shout.

"No, daddy. It's true. I wasn't ready to say anything yet, but now I guess it doesn't matter."

Seymour looked up from his hand.

"Wh-what do you mean, honey?"

"Seymour, you're a real nice guy and everything. All that stuff you said about violence not solving anything was super cute, it was soooo super sweet. But today I remembered something I'd forgot. Violence gets me really super hot. And my dad's the most violent guy I know."

Seymour's jaw dropped.

"You don't mean…"

"Plus, his dick is, like, practically a foot longer than yours."

Brick peered down at Seymour again.

"A four-incher, huh?"

Damn, but he had gotten good at this adding and subtracting shit. The nerd hadn't finished his piece, though.

"I have spent the WHOLE AFTERNOON prepping a nonviolent negotiation with these terrorists, and when I arrive I find that not only has your dad KILLED THEM ALL, but that he's stealing you — my OWN FIANCE away from me??"

"Umm…pretty much, dude" she shrugged. "He's actually been fucking me since the first time he saved my life, it's where I go when I tell you I'm out of town. I just need a real man, y'know? Don't be mad, but it's not gonna work out."

Before Seymour could formulate his next response, a fat, short and gruff man with a moustache strode out from the crowd. Chief of police Leroy Weathers had been assigned to look after Officer MacLock 20 years ago and had barely a moment's rest since, especially on days like this.

"MACLOOOOCK!!" he bellowed.

Brick decided to play it cool with the old man.

"How's it hangin', chief?" he grinned.

"How's it HANGIN'?? spat the chief, pressing his finger into Brick's pecs. "I heard everything! You just cost this city a fortune in property damages, I got the mayor of Miami, the chief executive of Hong Kong, the premier of Quebec and the president of Afghanistan up my ass on the phone, all so you could be a maverick and take out Guitierezz single-handedly? And now you're going to go home and have INCESTUOUS SEX with your own DAUGHTER?!?"

"Pretty much, chief."

Weather's expression slowly changed from rage to an approving nod. He removed his finger from Brick's chest and put both hands on his hips.

"Damn, boy. I knew there was something I liked about you," he chuckled.

Seymour Libby took this as his cue to quietly slink away out of sight to the nearest hospital. Today just wasn't his day.

"Tell you what," continued the chief. "Go get yourself some r n' r. You got two weeks paid vacation. And just in time for Father's Day" he added with a wink.

"I know just the gal to spend it with, chief."

"Ohh, Daddy," Kimmy swooned.

Brick held her in his arms for another passionate kiss as the crowd began another round of applause, wolf whistles and catcalls.

Fade out, roll credits. Heavy rock music.

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